


Saints in the Sun Drabble July 2015

by parshaara



Category: Saints Row
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 18:20:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17647553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parshaara/pseuds/parshaara
Summary: The Saints enjoy some summer fun at Matt's expense





	Saints in the Sun Drabble July 2015

**Author's Note:**

> This was a drabble written and submitted to the Saints in the Sun event involving @Antivanbrandy on tumblr.

“Absolutely not!” Matt’s voice echoed through the simulation, an audible “click” when he smashed the PTT button. 

Inside the simulation, Val rolled her eyes and flapped her arms in exasperation. “It’s not even real water, dingus!” she yelled into the void of virtual Steelport’s sky. Kinzie had somehow managed to chase away the sickly gray color the simulation usually wore and replaced it with a bright summer sun. She also took the liberty of converting Magarac Island to a white sand beach and inserted amenities like an ice cream cart and various beach supplies. 

Another “click”; “No. Nope. NO” came his reply, growing in pitch. “Virtual or not, do you really want to swim in something you know is an alphabet soup of hepatitis?” Val’s answer came in the form of a splash.

Matt stared at the various screens and groused. He could easily whip up a wetsuit for himself, or even code himself a completely new body, but the thought of even a virtual plastic bag wrapping itself around his ankle or his foot slipping on a slimy rock made his mouth dry and his stomach turn. 

The screens in front of him woke as Pierce, Johnny, and Shaundi spawned in the Steelport that flickered before him. Their laughs rang through his headphones and he briefly considered turning the water to lava or sewage, just to get a rise out of them. Between the shouts in his ears and the fast-tapping of his fingers as he concocted a fluorescent blue shark to nip at them, Matt didn’t hear Kinzie scuff-walk up behind him. His fingers continued to dance over the keys even as her hands made their way under his armpits and lifted him from the console. 

“Socialize.” she said, pushing him into one of the vacant interface chairs. He struggled against her as she closed the restraints giving him a look that could freeze the entire solar system in its tracks. His arms fell limp at his sides and he let her hook him in. She could lead a nerd to water, but she couldn’t make him swim. 

As he swished to life in the simulation, Kinzie’s keystrokes echoed throughout the command area. She spawned Matt directly above the water clad only in a victorian-era swimsuit. 

“I’M GOING TO KI-” Matt screamed as he plunged into the water. He sputtered, surfacing and spitting out the grey harbor water. Choking back laughter, Kinzie spawned an inner tube under him and sat back from the console. Those 40k cache in her avatar’s account felt well earned.


End file.
